Mission Call

I received the following two weeks ago:

“Dear Sister Wilson:
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Sweden Stockholm Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Centre on Tuesday, December 8, 2015. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Swedish language.”

I know at this time in my life this is where I am meant to be going and this is what I am meant to be doing! There is nothing more prominent and sure to me than the existence of our Saviour and the active pursuit of bettering one’s self through His teachings every day. When I came to this realisation, I have genuinely found improvement in every area of my life, each day- and consistently find peace even in the midst of turmoil, each day. Because this brings me greater joy than anything I have ever known- there is nothing I would love to do more than immerse myself in this calling and share this message of happiness with the people of Sweden and all else who are seeking peace and understanding.

To meet with missionaries in your area feel free to visit http://www.mormon.org/missionaries

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Sentiment vs. Clutter

I’m fairly certain deleting things is one of my favourite things to do. As is throwing things away.

I feel like I’ll eventually have one of those completely empty houses with an incredibly simple design with everything in perfect order and no marks anywhere. I probably will never do white because I still can’t touch things without getting it dirty.

This post really serves no purpose apart from the acknowledgement that I haven’t written in a while and am in a very deletey mood. Deleting photos, deleting numbers, deleting social media aspects, throwing away multiple bags of clothes and items I’ve never used or cared about and mainly just stuff in general. I like to delete. I like not owning things.

At this point I understand the line drawn between sentiment and clutter. Now, instead of thinking, ‘So and so gave this to me, I need to keep it,’ I can think, ‘I’ve never used this and never will, so and so wouldn’t even remember giving it to me- throw it away.’ Same goes for clothes. I would keep things because they are nice but I’ve never touched it. Or it was given to me for a job I did back in the day. Or it was expensive once. Throw it away. Somebody take it. But take it fast or I’ll get rid of it. I don’t care how it goes just see that it does. The more material possessions I own the more weight I seem to carry. The more I rid myself of stuff in general my freedom seems to heighten. I didn’t want my LCD 60 inch tv- I don’t watch tv. Take it. Why do I have random light bulbs and batteries and endless blutack? Take it. I have no clue why I’d own more than one handbag? They’re just sitting there as a collection never to be used. Leave. And SHOES, I really have never had an interest in shoes. I’m not a shoe kind of person. If it came down to needs we could definitely condense it down to 3 or 4 pairs dependent on the earth in which I’d tread. I have never worn high heels, I don’t think there’s a possibility I ever would, but I seem to have a number of pairs. Get rid of them. I could sift through the details of my apartment, the things I plan on getting rid of, the things I have thrown away, my next movements etc. but I think you get the point. I don’t want it. I’m getting rid of it. None of my physical stuff is coming with me after this life.

I usually have a point to anything I write extensively on the internet. This one doesn’t have much depth other than just the above. With the physical stuff we have and aim to have or attain in this life just remember; if it’s not knowledge or a relationship it will not be buried with you. Money is just money and things in excess really don’t fill any void.

Today, and every day

I am so utterly blessed to be in the family I am in, in the country I am in, with the mind I have been given, with everything I stand in need of to be so abundantly bestowed upon me. I actually am in awe. Each day it’s more clear than the last. If I could begin to compare what I have with any in the world dare I say I feel like the most blessed person alive! It’s ridiculous that me, a person having done everything that I have done, a person with faults and flaws and a past could be given so much. I do not deserve it. The peace in my soul is matchless & I couldn’t know all that I know and feel all that I feel without having first made the decision to heed to the things I innately know are good for me.

Peace shouldn’t be a one time decade driven movement. It shouldn’t be solidly based on politics alone or collectively- peace is not a two finger sign, peace is not a trendy photograph. Peace shouldn’t be substance induced or acclaimed only under the influence of such. It needn’t be cultural or based on an aesthetic. It needn’t relate to a sense of fashion, combination of colours, trimming or placement of facial jewels. It need not be a war on those with differing moral obligations and it need not be attention sought after or endorsed by thespian talent. Peace should start in your soul then extend to your home- with your brother, with your parents, with your neighbour. The only peaceable solution to the earth lacking in peace is to renounce our disregard for loving what immediately stands before us.

Sure we can be opinionated and passionate and aesthetically conscious. But we needn’t confuse said objectives with a desire for peace.

We need to create peace within ourselves. Peace is individual and pertains to the soul. Not to the aesthetic or to the culture or to the viewer- but to the unseen within. These may only be words but if you felt what I feel (and I hope one day you will, too) you’d be sharing these things in the best way you’d know too. I only have words. They hardly do the feeling justice. Peace belongs to the individual soul.

A daily pursuit

I keep finding myself residing in a good place spiritually or educationally lately and then almost from nowhere I’ve been crept up on with unproductivity. I’m all good then one browse leads to an hour of browsing then extensively thinking about things that aren’t fruitful to my mind like aesthetics and how unimportant in the grand scheme of life they truly are. It’s interesting to watch myself within the bounds I have provided for myself in order to be as productive and subsequently happy as possible. Somehow my temporal state innately overrides my genuine desires to use my time effectively even when given so little choice in which to be ineffective. A daily feat I embark on! Yet, I am forever blessed. Imperfect and yet have an eternity of worthwhile abilities to discover & entertain. Enjoying the fruits of progression and self-evaluation x

Understanding Infinite Knowledge

In my efforts to understand things as they really are and in the obtaining of such knowledge (& as mentioned in a previous post): The thing I know of myself now more than ever is that my knowledge is so incredibly limited. For those who do not know me, I am currently preparing to be a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Amidst my preparations for said mission (and for life in general) I have been reading things to broaden my knowledge of not only gospel principles but to understand to the best of my ability the needs of others I will come into contact with and their level of prior knowledge. Additionally I attend meetings with current full time missionaries and the people they are currently teaching about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Proselyting also includes coming into contact with those rejecting knowledge of a Saviour and His teachings- which too, is normal on the mission and in life- and is obviously allowed. We personally approve of allowing all people to have the same privilege of worshipping their own understanding of God according to the dictates of their own consciences. We believe all people are allowed to select how they exercise their innate ability to choose.

For myself -as a citizen -and not as a person of my faith, one thing I have distinctly recognised amongst those who do not hold a belief in any form of Deity -is the appearing inability to understand their own lack of understanding (and yes, I’ve been there, we all choose arrogance- often ignorance, and we all fall short of understanding). A common denominator I’ve recognized in said people is a genuine belief that they hold a greater understanding than that of a Supreme Being having lived aeons of years prior to their existence. Things I commonly hear are phrases like “I’m such a deep thinker, there can’t be a God,” “If God is all powerful, why is there so much death of innocent lives?” “How could one create all the things around us? Sounds like magic. What about science?”

Two things need to be understood: We have been given the freedom to choose and God has infinite knowledge.

I’m not going to write in depth about our ability to choose. We have been placed on this earth as a trial of our faith and to use the ability of choice according to our desires- to progress. Bloodshed in the world is indeed not the choice of God, but of humans. He is all powerful and knowledgeable and as a result he knows the things that are going to come to pass. His knowledge is not the reason things come to pass.

Amongst my reading list is a book titled ‘Jesus the Christ’ by James E. Talmage. I read the following last night and it perfectly illustrated these thoughts I consistently have regarding the above.

“God’s Foreknowledge Not a Determining Cause.—“Respecting the foreknowledge of God, let it not be said that divine omniscience is of itself a determining cause whereby events are inevitably brought to pass. A mortal father, who knows the weaknesses and frailties of his son, may by reason of that knowledge sorrowfully predict the calamities and sufferings awaiting his wayward boy. He may foresee in that son’s future a forfeiture of blessings that could have been won, loss of position, self-respect, reputation and honor; even the dark shadows of a felon’s cell and the night of a drunkard’s grave may appear in the saddening visions of that fond father’s soul; yet, convinced by experience of the impossibility of bringing about that son’s reform, he foresees the dread developments of the future, and he finds but sorrow and anguish in his knowledge. Can it be said that the father’s foreknowledge is a cause of the son’s sinful life? The son, perchance, has reached his maturity; he is the master of his own destiny; a free agent unto himself. The father is powerless to control by force or to direct by arbitrary command; and, while he would gladly make any effort or sacrifice to save his son from the fate impending, he fears for what seems to be an awful certainty. But surely that thoughtful, prayerful, loving parent does not, because of his knowledge, contribute to the son’s waywardness. To reason otherwise would be to say that a neglectful father, who takes not the trouble to study the nature and character of his son, who shuts his eyes to sinful tendencies, and rests in careless indifference as to the probable future, will by his very heartlessness be benefiting his child, because his lack of forethought cannot operate as a contributory cause to dereliction.

“Our Heavenly Father has a full knowledge of the nature and disposition of each of His children, a knowledge gained by long observation and experience in the past eternity of our primeval childhood; a knowledge compared with which that gained by earthly parents through mortal experience with their children is infinitesimally small. By reason of that surpassing knowledge, God reads the future of child and children, of men individually and of men collectively as communities and nations; He knows what each will do under given conditions, and sees the end from the beginning. His foreknowledge is based on intelligence and reason. He foresees the future as a state which naturally and surely will be; not as one which must be because He has arbitrarily willed that it shall be.”—From the author’s Great Apostasy, pp. 19, 20.”

The above passage actually made me flip out as I was reading it on the train. I smiled and nodded profusely and may have even whispered a little ‘Yes!’ out loud. I am so incredibly at peace when another understands things and even has the ability to write the same agreed understandings of my heart on their paper.

Prior to my reading I was thinking about scientists. I was thinking about my inability to create or experiment with elements of the earth and how incredibly far we have come so far as science can tell. My knowledge of science is a seed, the knowledge of a scientist is a tree. Then I thought, scientists? They should be considered mini-scientists comparative to a Supreme Being. If a person detests the knowledge of Deity in His infinite understanding and ability to create -as a literal result of believing in science -how can one possibly believe in scientists? Surely a measured earth of 4.5 billion years old comprising of humans living to roughly 73 years has come thus far scientifically as a result of those two common factors alone: Time. Understanding time has been one of my weaknesses up until January this year (however, I still struggle). In the last six months I have actively learnt more than in my entire life as a result of exercising my time efficiently. I understand now more truth than I have ever understood. With this in mind, I consider the life of a scientist (or my limited understanding of a person dedicating themselves to the practice of a science) -copious study, time, energy & practice to understand elements of the earth & the humans in which it consists- often claiming to facilitate and better the lives on the earth in which we reside (and dependent on the denomination of science the planets in which we don’t reside). If God has lived for aeons of years prior to a scientist- surely he has done the same? Surely his knowledge of matter is far greater than that of a scientist? Miracles should not be considered as deviations from the ordinary course of nature so much as manifestations of divine or spiritual power. How limited is our perceived knowledge, how limited is our perceived spirituality- how limited is our power.

I’m going to leave the following thoughts: In your study, in your genuine seeking for divine guidance and knowledge- you will only receive a witness after exercising your faith. I abundantly have been blessed with repeated witnesses of these truths. I know without any doubt whatsoever that we do in very fact, have a loving Heavenly Father. He lives. He is existent. These things I know. This knowledge and active pursuit in attaining confirmation of this knowledge will change your entire life. This I promise you. I’m going to ask those reading this with these genuine desires to make one simple commitment. This week- kneel and pray, asking God the Father your desires to know of His existence and anything you wish to share with Him and close your prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. For any further direction pertaining to prayer and anything listed in the above, feel free to be in contact x

Hunger intelligence, thirst understanding

Since quitting tv for some time now and committing myself to minimal social media usage (relating to temperance and avoiding distraction) I’ve been given the opportunity to spend a great amount of my time reading. I really forgot how much I genuinely love to learn on my own. There’s nothing quite like the solitude in several books being read alone. I realised lately I’ve been reading more and more each day, adding to my reading list without end. With every new thought and with each new level of clarity and knowledge I receive my mind then thirsts for a greater desire to understand more and know more and subsequently read more. Every thing I ponder or have limited understanding in leads me to a new path or book or article clarifying said lacking in understanding and thus building upon my knowledge. With each new sure truth I feed my mind comes the absolute surety of one thing: My knowledge is so incredibly minimal. This brings me so much joy. The very thought of eternity makes so much more sense than ever. The knowledge of eternity brings me peace. We have an eternity to learn stuff. Heaps of stuff. Why hinder or delay any knowledge we can currently receive now?

D&C 130:19
“And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.”

There’s eternity to learn, and a part of that eternity is right now- in our mortal state. We can legitimately be a source of great positive change on the earth as a result of diligence in learning and physically acting upon attained knowledge.

My kids won’t be having a television. Call it deprivation all you like but if limiting temporal time wasting devices and initial seeming forced activity could lead to their eventual desire to seek learning- in books, then I will know my duty as a parent to rear children in a faithful manner, providing them with all they stand in need of both temporally and spiritually- will not be in vain. I want to write about my parents somehow and how awesomely they did at bringing me up. I am so genuinely grateful for everything I thought was hard or having to do the things I didn’t want to do as a child. Everything I had to learn was actually good. Every time I had to ride my bike to piano lessons was actually good. Every time I wasn’t allowed to attend social events as a result of not having fulfilled my duties inside the home was not a punishment, but a blessing. I didn’t become a bitter old hag- I learnt something that needed to be learnt so I could become and continue to strive to be good. I remember when I was in year 7 my dad decided we would go a year without tv. (On a side note, I am one of six children). For the first two weeks or so we felt deprived, wondered what the show “Skit House” was all about, I remember being angry about it for a short period of time- but after a few weeks: we became more united and happy as a family. Television is such a massive distraction in so many ways. That was actually probably one of our best years when we all lived together as kids. These are not even the tip of the iceberg. Learning is so important, parents understanding learning being incredibly important is vital to the next generation of leaders who are now the children of the world. I’m off on a tangent, could write forever, could read forever, so I’ll leave only this: The greater intelligence you receive in this life, the better.

Conscience is not a social construct

As the world comes to a close there is one thing upholding greater prominence today than in all the history of planet earth. I sit here and can smell off ravioli from probably weeks ago- something I decided then, was a good idea to cook in my kettle to save time. Upon heating up the kettle today whilst showering I had this off meat smell emanate and in many ways offend my nostrils. A natural consequence of a poor idea. A natural consequence of something I thought was a good idea at the time -to save myself effort and gratify my desires. Unfortunately, I will now be suffering the consequence of a stinky off smelling apartment for undoubtedly weeks as a result of making a decision that would save minutes. Cause- effect. Will I be cooking ravioli in my kettle again? No.

With endeavours to not mention things too on-topic holding far too great of political steam at current, we live in a day and age where everything is not as it seems. We live in a day and age where everything is as we feel it is. Is the sky blue? Nah, it’s yellow. The colour blue is a social construct. In fact, the way we are now being educated is: everything is a social construct. We are so heavily at freedom to choose what we wish to see and do with no thought for how our actions are going to negatively change the world. Only because we wish to make a point that things are only as we feel they are. Here and now is all that matters.

I’m going to make this a quick post because I could talk about it in depth for hours days and years. When you touch a fire, it burns. As a result we endeavour to no longer touch said fire or anything remotely similar. If everything had to be learnt in such a manner the world wouldn’t be in such a developed state as it is now. Progressive but developed. We innately know right from wrong. Some things are in fact indetestable and are really- as they are. Conscience is not a social construct. Truth is not a social construct. Anyone who says differently is contesting the knowledge of their own soul. At the end of the day, at the end of life, everything you think you know or claim to know will be answered with the truth. Until then, I forever wait amongst the few who haven’t been blinded by the corrupt views hand fed to our generation by the media.